Excessively Diverted

To My Invisible Reader

2006-03-31T10:36:00.000-07:00

This post appears on Maternal Alchemy

I just realized that my husband's ex-wife (whom I have never met) reads my step-daughter's blog, and I am linked on her blog. I wonder if Shirley reads this?

So, Shirley, if you do read this, this is what I want you to know:

I have no ill-will towards you at all. In fact, I respect you for your strong mothering, your fortitude, and your accomplishments. My husband's issues with you are his alone.

I'd like you to know that I love your children... at least the two who have come into my home. I love the other three vicariously. They are amazing children; you should be proud. You should also know that I have no need to become their mother or a parent-figure. I have four of my own, thank you very much. They keep me quite busy. I just want to be their friend, a close member of the family. See, no worries?

Please encourage all of your children to blend with the two families. It is blessing for everyone when there is forgiveness, understanding, and a whole lot of sense of humor. Life goes on, but for children who have issues with their parents, life is very hard. Brent and I have been married for three years now... isn't it time to move forward?

On Poo-Poo Princessdom

2006-03-30T10:13:00.000-07:00

This post appears on Maternal Alchemy

Linda and I went Visiting Teaching last night, and on our way back she posed a question to me. “What did we do wrong?”

What she was referring to was the question we have been discussing for months. How is it that there are women out there whose husbands cater to their every need, their every want and desire, and yet we have been the bread-winners, the workers, the leaders in our families for years?

What did we do wrong?

We laughed for a moment, but then we both pondered the question. I suggested it was because we were too strong, too independent, too controlling. “No”, Linda reminded me, “Susy (her name has been changed) is very controlling. That’s not it.” Susy’s husband just bought her a new $60,000 car. She wanted it, she got it.

Why didn’t we marry men who believed that women should stay home, have their every need and want met, and should be given a credit card with unlimited funds?

Now, I’m not saying I would have been happier that way… I’m just curious as to why I didn’t get that?

Of course, the answer is simple. I didn’t want that. I came from a mother who worked, who loved to work, and who made her way in the world. She was known as a genius in her field, a field that was dominated by nerdy men. She was my example, my hero. Why wouldn’t I desire to work, to make my way in the world? She taught me, “You don’t need a man.” Somehow I translated that into, “You don’t need a man to ‘take care of you’, so do it yourself.” I wish I’d had a little different dictionary.

I have worked for many men who have Poo-Poo princesses as wives. These were gorgeous, blonde, fit, women who spend their lives shopping, redecorating, and shuffling their children around in expensive cars. They get their nails done, spend hours at the gym, and have housekeepers. The husband wants a trophy, the wife wants his money. It’s a beautiful arrangement. They are independent, strong women. They are controlling. What is the difference?

It isn’t just a question of money. It’s more the attitude of the husband that says, “I will provide. I will take care of you. I will be sure you are safe and cared for.” Somehow I missed that element. This is not to say that my husband doesn’t want those things for me… it’s that we both seem to be the one saying that.

I guess this is something that Linda and I will be discussing for some time. In the meanwhile, I’ll take my last $5 and buy me a sandwich for lunch. It is my need and desire.

Drum Roll, please

2006-03-26T19:53:00.000-07:00

Here you go... the unveiling of the new site. No, I'm not abandoning blogger as of yet, but all the good stuff will be on my website.

MaternalAlchemy.com

Enjoy!

(Remember, I am still on a learning curve, so be gentle with me!)

Secret Mission

2006-03-23T19:28:00.000-07:00

I have a secret mission.

Omar made me do it.

Shhhh... don't tell.

I'm working on my own website.

Yup... it will be my very own. But it's not ready yet, so don't peek.

Blogger may eventually be a thing of the past... except for archival purposes.

So, needless to say I am very distracted.. yeah, that and I went to a bead faire on Friday... do I even have time to eat or breathe?

Radio for Women?

2006-03-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

There is a giant picture of Kurt Bestor and Rebecca Cressman on every public bus in Provo touting the new AM 820 Radio for Women.

For those of you who don't know who Kurt Bestor is... well, he is a composer who is well known along the Wasatch Front as one who has given concerts and written music for the Olympics, etc. He is a popular figure with the 30-60 year old women... uh.. heart-throb.

So, yesterday I forgot my Nano at home, and I found 820 on my AM dial.

Sure enough, there was the familiar voice of Kurt Bestor and his congenial style. However, much to my surprise(and horror)he and his co-host were interviewing some woman who had affiliated herself with a female psychologist, and she was going on and on about the psychologist's achievements. Get this: "She has 10 children, and they all sing and play, the older ones have all gone on missions." (my ears perked up.. missions? Is this an LDS Radio Station?) She continued, "This woman is so amazing! Her house is always clean, and she never wears jeans."

Never wears jeans? Is this some hallmark of a righteous life? What was I listening to?

So, today I tuned in again... for entertainment purposes only.

Kurt was interviewing an author... she had written a book entitled "Soul Searching." Hmmmm, I thought. Something spiritual? Something introspective?

Nope. And LDS Romance. BLECH... SPIT... COUGH.

Hey... Kurt, man, I love you.. I laways have.. but honey, this is drivel! This is propagating the crap that keeps LDS women in their tiny little world.

I am going to write the station and voice my opinion. Maybe they will have me on the show to talk about my life's experiences...

hehehehehe

A Most Excellent Monday

2006-03-20T16:46:00.000-07:00

Why, you ask, what could possible make Monday so excellent?

Well... I will tell you.

1. New Computer waiting for me at work.
2. New Computer with zillions of new programs on it.
3. Learning Flash on Lynda.com.
4. Making my first Flash movie after first day of tutorials. (Will determine how to post on Blogger)
5. Wearing new jewelry that I made over the weekend and having many compliments. (You can never go wrong with pearls and garnets)
6. Having sushi for lunch with girl-friends.
7. Dishing over former workplace.
8. Suddenly realizing that Monday is over and it is time to go home.
9. Knowing that bosses (albeit most excellent bosses) will be gone for the rest of the week.
10. Knowing that I get to go home and take down Christmas decorations that have been causing it to snow in Utah. (Will post more on that tomorrow)

St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

Things I like about St. Patrick's Day

1. I look exceptionally well in green.
2. It is my grandfather's birthday.
3. My children still believe they are part leprechaun.
4. I can play my Irish music really loud.
5. I can talk with a bizarre accent that is really a mixture of Irish, Russian, and French.
6. I like Corned Beef and Cabbage
7. I can throw potatos.
8. It makes me think of my Irish Harp
9. I have green eyes.
10. I like being smug that I wore green!

Confused...

2006-03-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

It is March. I keep checking the calendar, and I am virtually positive it is March. The official first day of Spring is less than a week away.

Why did we get another 6" of snow this morning? Our local news station calls this "The Winter that Won't Go Away". The commute was so bad this morning, I dropped the kids off at school, turned around and went back home and slept for another hour. (Of course I have really bad hair this morning)

In fact, the snow was so bad in SLC that they closed the freeway. That NEVER happens.

Freaky ass weather.

One Word to Describe Me

2006-03-15T10:47:00.000-07:00

One Word: (these were submitted by family and friends)

Brilliant
Solid
Fun
Amazing
Generous
Delightful
Precious
Friend
Multi-faceted
Trustworthy
Hilarious
Visionary
Enlightened
Energy

And finally... from my sister: Annoying

Family Photos

2006-03-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

The year is 1984. Julia is about 4 months old. We are standing on the porch of my grandmother's home in Westchester, CA. My dad is visiting from Hawaii.

Marge, Me with Julia, My Grandmother (Mommie dear Ruth) and Dad

Mommie dear Ruth, Mom, Me with Julia, and Dad

That was a very long time ago.

Note on Grandmother's name: my two granmothers were known as "Mommie dear Ruth" and "Mommie dear Frances". I believe I coined these names from a book I was read as a very young child. My grandfather was known as "Bompa".

I wonder what on earth my grandchildren are going to call me?

I am Excessively Diverted

2006-03-13T11:22:00.000-07:00

Things I am diverted by:

1. Knitting. Will knit for food. Will knit for relaxation. Will knit, period.

2. Cadbury Mini Eggs. 'Nuff said.

3. Soundtrack to "The Secret Garden". How could I ever know?

4. Aquamarine. I am craving an aquamarine necklace.

5. My children. I just want to hang out with them.

6. The Temple. I just can't seem to get enough.

7. Thinking about this: 'A breakthrough occurs when you recognize you are more energy than matter.' Hmmmm. I'd sure like to know where all my energy is hiding... maybe it's in my double chin.

8. Purses. Can't seem to get enough of 'em.

9. Peroxide. My husband is convinced the Peroxide is the new penicillin. He sent me something with 101 Uses For... and I am going to a)drink it, b)apply it, c) cook with it, d)swish it, and e)spray it.

10. A New Business Concept. For the last several months I have been making the intention that I want to come home. Well, my boss just put an idea in my head about building a downline for the company I work for. Hmmmmm. I guess it wouldn't hurt to go for it, and to overcome my "committee" that is screaming, "NO!"

The Report

2006-03-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

Loving:

New remote: Now my sorry, knitting butt never has to leave the couch.

Harry Potter IV: purchased, watched, loved.

Boston Legal: watched and loved. I want to grow up to be Candace Bergen AND own her jewelry.

Frozen Mango Chunks from Sam's Club: This is my morning smoothie: Plain, non-fat yoghurt, mango chunks, frozen strawberries, and water or juice. YUM!

Sarcomical: Please read her blog, it is too, too funny. I am still chuckling about her "Fur Children"

Hating:

Plaing Nails: I had my acrylic nails removed. Hating it, but a necessary evil. I have "man" hands.

The New Dumbledore: I officially HATE the new Dumbledore. He is way too emotional, angry, bustling, and loud. Richard Harris had a lot of nerve dying before the 7th movie was made.

My Son's Cavalier Attitude about EVERYTHING. Was I really this arrogant, pissy, and proud when I was 16?

Confused About:

My eating habits. Last night,Oreos of all things! I mean the transfatty acids alone are killing me. This is Weight Watchers? Must repent.

My right shoulder. It aches all the time. Even after a therapeutic massage (which nearly killed me, but made it feel better for a while) it still hurts. Damn, I hate getting old.

Spanish. It always comes out in French. I need a mind-meld with someone fluent.

This is how incredibly BIG, FAT, and LAZY I am

2006-03-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

There I was, at home last night, alone. The house is quiet. The children are gone, the husband is working. "Ah," I think to myself, "A night of knitting, quietly, in front of the TV!"

Then I remember. The damn remote is still missing. How on earth can I select one station to watch, and on a Monday night when there is NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING on TV.

So, I play it safe and watch Friends for a while. I believe Friends repeats are on 24/7 on some channel. I get three rows done with Friends (hey, I have over 500 stiches on a row, get over it!)

Eventually Brent comes upstairs. I ask him to change the channel. He puts it on something stupid like "7th Heaven" which I can only stomach for about 35 seconds. So he changes it again. There is NOTHING on.

Do you know that we left it on "Deal or No Deal" for almost 20 minutes??? How sick and wrong is that?

I have to buy a remote on my way home from work or I may kill someone.

Oh wait... I can watch Fox tonight. All night. It will be ok.

Only try this at home...

2006-03-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

You want to laugh out loud in that really obnoxious way when something really, really is histerically funny?

Go read this: Go Fug Yourself

But please, for the love of all that is good and decent, do not read this while at work.

People will STARE at you.

Green Day

2006-03-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

No, not the band. Today everything is GREEN. I'm wearing green, my purse is green, I even returned broken zippered green pants and got NEW green pants.

But the weirdest thing of all is that I went to get my Diet Coke at the gas station across from where I work and the checker (MALE) said, "Wow, cute green purse."

I think I need a horoscope.

Today's Horoscope -

The planets have aligned to bring you a most wonderfully verdant day! All good things will come together for you, and even the most tedious of tasks will come with ease and enjoyment. New learnings and new pants will bring you strength and hotness. You go, Girl!

The Non-Oscar Blog

2006-03-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

Don't care.
Don't care.
Don't care.

We lost the remote to our living room TV. How on earth this happened, I couldn't tell you, but because we are a family of lazy-assed people, the television remained on only two channels all night.

PreOscar on E! and (except for a brief respite on CBS to see Mandy Patinkin) the Oscars.

Lord have mercy, that was some BAD TV (and for those of you who were delighted that "It's hard our there for a Pimp" won for best original song, BAD TV means it SUCKED!)

Can Isaac Mizrahi be any more annoying?

Can George Clooney be any more annoying, yet handsome?

Can the host of the Oscars please get better? Bring back Billy Crystal.

I really hope we find our remote before I have to endure any more insipid TV.

(For those of you wondering why I just couldn't get up off my BFA and leave or turn off the TV... I was knitting. There. That 'splains it.)

The Schizophrenia of Spring

2006-03-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

The Schizophrenia of Spring

I am teased by the schizophrenia of Spring.
Can I pack away the coats and mittens and scarves,
Or will I be caught unawares by the pad-footed return of snow?

The wind blows hot, it blows cold, but it always blows
The next storm, the next mild day...
It just blows.

Is this not my life? I walk through sun and blue skies
Only to be blown into a new storm, a new grey silk-clouded moment.
But under the spring snow, crocuses stretch from their long winter sleep
And suddenly, suddenly
as if by a greater, deeper magic, raise white heads to the sun.

I am teased by the schizophrenia of Spring.
Even though I remember, remember from fifty springs
That summer will come, I am none the less teased by a slightly mad,
Slightly mad weather man with coats of many colors.

Deeper magic will reign and summer will return.

What I really want

2006-03-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm 50, I will express what it is that I really want.

I really want to not have to go to work every morning. I'd like to be home, managing a house, learning new things, having projects. This is not to say that I don't enjoy my job, because I do... I just feel like there are more important things to be doing.

I'd like to have the time to do important things: go to the temple, do genealogy, exercise, hang with the kids.

I really want to complete the things I have given commitments to: website, writing, etc.

I want to take painting classes.

I want to quilt something just for me.

I want a garden.

I want a dog, one that I can spoil, yet train. A companion, a walking buddy.

I want a clean and organized house.. not the fly-by-night tidying that I do when I have a moment.

I want a piano and I want to be able to play (read: practice).

I want to learn Flash.

Birthday Retired - Then Cometh the Spring

2006-03-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

The Birthday Blog has retired, and we are welcoming Spring to Excessively Diverted.

This is celebrating that it is 50 degrees, that the willows are starting to green, and that somewhere the crocuses are going to pop out of the ground.

Three Years of Bliss

2006-03-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Today is the third anniversary of my marriage to Brent. I love being married, and being married to him is so fun.

Things I really, really like about my husband:
1. He has a great (dorky) sense of humor
2. He is always kind
3. He makes great pancakes
4. Ditto for oatmeal
5. He rubs and/or scratches my back every night
6. He willingly substitutes for my Primary class and doesn't frighten them
7. He loves my kids
8. He loves my ex-husband (OK, that is kinda weird, but what can I do?)
9. He tolerates my eccentricities
10. He is low maintenance
11. He is clean... really, really clean
12. He is a tiny bit anal, which is a great balance to my not-anal
13. He is in a great mood about 93% of the time, and only in a bad mood .5% of the time.
14. He works hard
15. He is a great emotional support
16. He give me great freedom
17. He hums when he works
18. He has deep feelings about people
19. He loves the Lord
20. He loves ME!

Thank you, honey, for three great years. This is just the beginning, cause you're stuck with me!

Good News - Bad News

2006-02-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

I sent this logo I found online to my sister and Kate. It should remind them of our trip. Why? Well, I have been battling a sore back for about two weeks now (it is finally feeling better today!). However, my sister, not known for her pharmacalogical prowess, provided me with some muscle relaxants. Let's just say that my back still hurt, but I was so incredibly amusing, I didn't care, and neither did they!

We ate this... at Ruth's Chris. Yummmmmmm

When I grow up I want to live in La Jolla. Well, maybe. We did "play" the lottery while in California, and I am sad to say that we didn't win the $220 million dollars. Had we won, a home in La Jolla would have been plausible. I think our day in La Jolla was my favorite part.

You know, I came home to a dirty house, tons of laundry, no food... but it's good to be home. I think that is why little weekend jaunts are so good for the soul. You are glad to get away, but so appreciate "home" when you do return.

By the way, the laundry is done, the house is clean, and well, we still don't have any food... but it is amazing how quickly things get put back into place when Mom gets home.

Images of San Diego Fun

2006-02-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

The Three Amigas: Kate, Me, and Carolyn

The Cousins: Charles, Brynn, Whitney, Cassidy, and Tressa

Silliness

Watching the Seals

Old Friends

Marge and Mable

Fun at La Jolla Tide Pools: Poking the Anenome

Bonding with Cactus

Getting in Trouble at the Yarn Store

Can Birthdays Get Any Better?

2006-02-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

I have to say that turning 50 has been the most fun I've had in years... and most likely the best birthday celebration ever.

Top 10 Reasons this has been a great birthday (in no particular order)

1. My Home Teachers sent my a huge bouquet of flowers
2. I was taken out to lunch FIVE times for my birthday, and two of them were to sushi restaurants.
3. I got a Nano from Daddy
4. I got a GREAT knitting book from Kate... and yarn for a project
5. I got super nifty lanyard headphones for my Nano
6. I was thrown a surprise party by the ladies in my ward
7. At above mentioned surprize party they did a song for me with choreography
8. I ate a lot of yummy food including a sumptious dinner at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse in San Diego
9. Oh, did I mention a trip to San Diego with my sister and Kate???
10. The beach, the food, the company.... and the dog.

Birthday Wishes from Daddy

2006-02-23T08:46:00.000-07:00

Something aberrant occurs in your psyche
when your daughter turns 50.

You now realize that her longevity milestone represents
your on-going years into old age.

But that is the nature of one's legacy
We leave for posterity our genes, our societal contributions
and our children...that's it!

Oh, the joy in realizing that your offspring
turned out so well...
Caring, loving, intelligent and productive

So, count your blessings, Mr. B.
You've been given the gift of life projected
down through one and two (and soon) three generations.

I just wish your Mom could have been here
to celebrate with you.
But coincidences of life have a way
of dealing both high and low cards.

So, beautiful daughter of mine,
here's my sage advice:
"The 2nd half is better. Enjoy!"

My Life

2006-02-22T16:28:00.000-07:00

This was sent to me via 50 emails from my sister today: (I have thrown in my 2 cents here and there)

When you were...

One... you slept with Playa (our labrador/weimeraner) in your bed.

Two... you got a little sister.

Three... You learned to "play" the piano

Four... You wore hats well

Five... you drew on the closet walls in chalk(which was fine, as they were giant chalkboards)

Six... You read about Christopher Robin in "When I was Six"

Seven... you moved to Belgium

Eight... you ate chocloate sandwiches (in Belgium)

Nine... you adjusted to the slower pace of American schools

Ten... You sneaked up to the attic to smell the chocoloate lingering in ourBelgian school bags

Eleven... you were learning C major scales on the flute

Twelve... You had Mrs. Gruber

Thirteen... You played flute under Mr. Bright (And I met Kate for the first time)
and You were a card-carrying member of the Broad Squad (Long Story...)

Fourteen... You hung out with Blanche and Thad

Fifteen... You were first chair flute in the Samohi orchestra

Sixteen... You hung out with KT and was in love with a guy named Bones; You played hookey from Samohi and drank coffee at Sambos, and graduated from high school

Seventeen... You went to UCLA

Eighteen... Okay, you'd been at UCLA since you were 17... (I was introduced to the LDS church)

Nineteen... You joined the LDS Church and moved to Utah for the first time

Twenty... You suffered from bicentennial fever and Skating madness

Twenty-one... You went on a mission to Holland

Twenty-two... Still in Holland (eating Chocolate Sandwiches)

Twenty-three... Had a bad hair year

Twenty-four... I think that's when you met or married the short guy

Twenty-five... You ate many mangos

Twenty-six... You worked for a giant copier company

Twenty-seven... You had your first child. (Ok, it was shy of my 28th birthday by two days...)

Twenty-eight... You lived in George Orwell's world

Twenty-nine... Graduate school? What, are you nuts???

Thirty... You folded all of the underwear that Julia got for her first Christmas(and wore simultaneously) Pregnant again! This time you are HUGE!

Thirty-one... I watched your second child being born

Thirty-two... You were thinking that two might be just the right number of kids to have in diapers at the same time. Or not. (Holy Hannah, pregnant again???)

Thirty-three... You were two-thirds to today. (FYI: Annus Horibilus)

Thirty-four... You had your first white Christmas (if it snowed that year in December)

Thirty-five... You had a traumatic trip to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving (ice in Amarillo)

Thirty-six... Carolyn came to your house for Thanksgiving, which you liked much better. Miracle Baby born.

Thirty-seven... you were addicted to f r e s h Diet Cokes from Soda Fountains

Thirty-eight... you taught piano, which is a good trick considering you don't know how to play.

Thirty-nine... you stopped getting older (yeah, right)

Forty!.. You drove a hideous Minivan (promise me: never again)

Forty-one... You powered through a mid-life crisis

Forty-two... You inherited the Trooper.

Forty-three..You survived with only one bathroom

Forty-four... You still survived with only one bathroom

Forty-five... You actually went camping! (but you took showers in my loft)

Forty-six... You got a new hip and a new honey

Forty-seven... You finally got it right.

Forty-eight... You went to Thailand and ate everything they threw at you (impressingeveryone greatly)

Forty-nine... You sent Julia on a mission

Fifty.... You tell me!

Thanks, Sis... a great retrospective of a very bizarre and blessed life!

Peyote Dealing Charges Dropped Against Mooney

2006-02-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

February 22nd, 2006 @ 2:27pm

(KSL News) -- Federal prosecutors in Utah have dropped charges against a Utah County couple accused of dealing peyote.

James and Linda Mooney reached an agreement with prosecutors and have agreed to not use or distribute peyote. (Actually this is falsely reported. There was no settlement or agreement. The Feds dropped the charges, period. The Supreme Court trumped them all!)

That decison comes a day after the US Spureme Court ruled unanimously that a small branch of South American religious sects may use a drink that contains an illegal substance as part of a ritual.

The court says the government cannot hinder religious practices without proof of a compelling need to do so.

Federal prosecutors say, in light of that ruling, they decided not to go forward with their case against James Mooney and his wife.

As Linda is my best friend, I don't know if I could have asked for a better birthday present!

Whereas I am now fifty....

2006-02-22T12:29:00.000-07:00

Now that I am fifty there are some new rules:

My metabolism is that of a 7 year old. I burn fat like an Expedition burns gas.

My face is looking younger and more radiant every day.

My wisdom increase exponentially each day. I never have to learn the same lesson a second time in a more difficult way.

My teeth glisten like pearls and are as indestructable as titanium.

My body is strong, lithe, and limber.

My eyes see all things clearly... even the tiniest of print.

Age spots? I don't think so!

My memory contains vaults and vaults of information that I can access at any moment.

I am healthy, wealthy, and wise.

I have the means to do anything, go anywhere, and be anyone. (See above)

And I'm still damn funny!

Two Important Lessons from the Olympics

2006-02-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

I learned two life-changing lessons from the Olympics last night.

Costumes that emphasize the bosom with fringe will
ensure you a bronze medal.
(Am I the only one grateful that his skate didn't get caught in one of those?)

And... "fat don't fly"
This comment was made as they explained that the Austrian jumper was 6'2" and weighed 150 lbs.

Exploding Keyboard

2006-02-17T13:26:00.000-07:00

Last night, in the middle of my Skating Reverie (HA!), I heard a horrible crash from downstairs that sounded like someone had drop kicked the monitor on the computer.

I dashed downstairs to find Robbie picking up keyboard keys.

"What happened?"

"I stood up and the keyboard went flying!" He replied, looking quite sheepish. "The string on my hoodie got caught under the keyboard. Have you seen the 'K'?"

We have succesfully found all the keys except for the Windows Start key which we don't need anyway because we have a Mac. However, John reports that the space key is sticking. Could be Mountain Dew, could be altitude sickness from being thrown across the room.

I will go home and investigate.

From my Husband

2006-02-17T13:21:00.000-07:00

My husband is not a terrifically demonstrative man. (Which brings such a great balance to my life). He does tell me he loves me very often, but he's not big on romance.

However, in my email box this morning was the following:

Couldn't sleep after the bad skaters on TV so I got up and browsed the internet for more favorite pictures. This one reminded me of you. Hope you like it.

Love,
Chubby Hubby

Something you may not know about me...

2006-02-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

I used to be a figure skating junkie. This obsession got so bad at one point I actually got a job at the figure skating rink where Tai and Randy trained. I knew John Nicks, and had even slapped Scott Hamilton's butt. I could recognize the set up for a Lutz vs. a Slachow jump a mile away.

My last big figure skating frenzy was in the Olympics in 1988 with the face off between the Brians: Boitano and Orser. I was gripped by both of their passionate performances, each giving their all creatively as well as technically.

But what has happened to figure skating now? OK, granted I'm a lot older and I don't have the interest in young, gay men who now dominate the sport. But what I saw last night in the Men's Final Free Skate made me want to watch Snowboard Cross more. (By the way, I did enjoy the final on that) What is up with that Plushenko dude, just going through the motions? I loved what Dicky Button had to say, "He does jumps, and then moves his arms, jumps, arm movements..." Indeed. I found the men's Free Skate to be less than inspiring.. in fact, insipid.

Now, why should I care? Well, this has always been a sport that to me embodied the delicate balance between strength and grace, artistry and daring. It is now starting to look like people doing "tricks" for the sake of the "tricks". They should try the Half-Pipe instead.

Jumps and spins used to be called "elements"... they are now called "Tricks" as if these were circus performers or hookers.

I am mightily dissapointed in the whole sport. I'd frankly rather watch "Skating with the Celebrities" and see my old friend Tai and the badly-face-lifted Bruce Jenner look like idiots on the ice. At least they are having fun... and were mercifully voted off because of their bad "tricks".

A Roeze by any other name...

2006-02-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am continually entertained by the spelling of names. As one who spent most of her 50 years having to spell "Lianne" instead of "Leanne" I understand that sometimes creativity can have a negative impact on children.

(Be paitent - I will get to my daughter's name in a minute)

I met a young woman at Shopko today and was struck by her name tag. "How do you pronounce your name?" I asked her. "Shilo", she replied. The name tag read: Chieloe. Who knew?

I was in a class with another young woman who enjoyed the repetition of letters: Annnalie. Three "n's"? Yup... can't ever have enough "n's".

Utah is famous for being creative with names and with spellings. We all know that with some names (Catelyn, Megan, McKenna) you just have to ask rather than pretend you can psychically determine the spelling. And it isn't that these other spellings are WRONG (although I might beg to differ with Ms. Shopko) it just makes life a little more cumbersome for the receipient of the spelling.

So, I was bound and determined to give my children names they could say without having them spend hours of their lives spelling them: Julia, Robert, John, and Christina. Oops... that last one was a problem, because in reality she goes by Kjarsti (Kar-Sty) a Swedish spelling of a Swedish nickname.

No wonder she is struggling. As her mother, I have scarred her for life.

Foul Winter be Gone!

2006-02-15T10:50:00.000-07:00

I am no longer amused by winter.
I am ready for the quiet encroachment of Spring.
The tiny buds.
The shy flowers.
Winter be gone
and send tulips instead.

Just Do It

2006-02-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

I am being confronted by my own weird thinking. Sometimes I feel like a rat in a maze, unable to see far enough ahead of me to make a different choice. I feel like screaming at myself sometimes, "DUH!"

For example: I HATE getting up at 5:40 to go to the gym. I hate getting up at that hour to do ANYTHING. Why did it just now occur to me that I have gym about 1 mile from my work and I can go on my lunch hour? Now, this is not the preferable time to go, but on those days I really can't drag my sorry butt out of bed, it is an alternative.

(Side note: Going to the gym with my new Birthday Nano (thank you, Daddy) has been SO COOL. I don't have to spend 10 minutes trying to untangle my bizarre headphones and find a machine where the sound works... I just plug into my cute little nano and off I go. I LOVE IT!!!)

Another weird thinking I have is about food. Yes, I know, this has already been established. I cannot for the life of me think in balance about food. I attended an AA meeting with Robbie the other night and the woman was talking about how she could never just have one drink. Yes, I can never have just one donut. It is all or nothing with me. I am compulsive about food! (Well, other things too...)

I have a gripe: At work I sit under this immense air circulation duct and it sounds like a freaking 747 taking off in my office. We have tried all manner of things to get it to a)not freeze us to death and b) not make us deaf. I am considering a set of noice reduction head phones, but that makes me so anti-social at work.

Today's Horoscope:
Find your voice and say your truth! When you stand in what you know is right for you, everyone feels better (and safer). You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, and you can choose to do EVERYTHING you want to do. Oh, and you are having a good hair day, so enjoy!

What should have been Monday's post

2006-02-14T08:45:00.000-07:00

It is obvious the Blogger was having quite the Monday. Oh well. I guess I am too. It's not that I am having a bad day, it's more like I'm having a day where I am anticipating how tired I am going to be tonight.

As it happens, I am recovering from the last Alchemist weekend. This last weekend it was my stretch to be responsible for the music. This is indeed a responsibility because when the class is in process, the music is critical! Consequently, I didn't get to hang with people too much and I felt a little stressed most of the time.

Also, I am extremely aware of the fact that I have three children who are on the verge at any moment of completely collapsing into a pool of quivering goo. (I love that word… it reminds me of "Q"). Rob is doing well, but I know that he is in that critical 90 day period of sobriety. Faith, faith, faith! John is being a poo-poo teenager who if he isn't careful will have to repeat the 10th grade, and that has got to be a pisser. Kjarsti is just in a weird place… the needy child and the independent teen… AUGH. I need some answers, and I have got to spend some time in the temple about this.

Children are sent to us because of what they teach us…. And what we can teach them. I have no doubt that the journeys that my children are taking are in large part because of what I will learn from parenting them. There are days when I feel like a horrible loser of a mother, and others when I sense that something I have said or done is a blessing to my children.

Right now I want to do some slap therapy on my two youngest. Do you think DCSF will buy that?

Today's Horoscope:

You have the capacity to know what is needed in any given moment, and you have the depth of love and faith to give it. You and God make such an awesome parenting partnership!

Things I want to accomplish this week:
1. Go to the Temple
2. Go to the gym at least 3 times
3. Correct my eating after a weekend of riotous eating
4. Sit with each child and discuss expectations and limits
5. Sleep!

Today's Horoscope and Thought

2006-02-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

Today's Horoscope:

You are looking exceedingly fine and weigh so much less than you think! All of your actions and your thoughts lead you to love, success, and uninterrupted prosperity. You have the right allocations and are fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack.

Today's Thought on Turning 50

My sister sent me an article from the Times saying that Disney has had to redesign their character costumes because the employees are getting thicker around the waistlines.

So... Disneyland and I are 50. However, my goal for this year is to decrease my waistline. My thought today is that turning 50 means I have to be conscious of what I eat, but still allow myself to eat anything that I want.

Fighting my own urges...

2006-02-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Now, you may think that this post is about food, but it isn't. It is about a situation that came up yesterday and the way I handled it.

I am conditioned from a young girl to freak out when a man gets angry or shows dipleasure. (Gee, I am sure no one reading that could possibly relate to that!) Yesterday I received a very brief but very intense phone call from my husband. His voice was agitated, and I could tell he was very stressed. In essence he said, "I am in a hurry, things with the job I am working on are not going well, and we have to have a talk when you get home about money."

OK.. all I heard at first was a) stress, b) we have to have a talk, and c) money.

My blood ran cold (to use a phrase from many bad romance novels) and my heart began to pound and I immediately showed the physical signs of stress.

Then I decided to make a different choice. I thought about what Brent had actually said. He was in a hurry. Things were going badly with this job.

I know my husband well enough to know that when he is stressed he freaks about money. (Again, I am sure no one reading or writing this could possibly relate)

So, I did some breathing and thinking. I undid the stress reaction in my body by realizing that Brent was not upset at me or in fact, really stressed about money in particular. He was just stressed and in a hurry.

Ah, crisis diverted. In fact, later in the afternoon we spoke and he was fine. The conversation was light, casual, and peppered with a great deal of laughter.

My Own Horoscope

2006-02-08T11:04:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on Turning 50 -

I have decided that I am going to write my own horoscopes from now on. I mean, really, this was my horoscope today:

Making someone's day has always been one of your favorite things to do. You'll have a chance to do it for someone today -- someone who really needs a break, a hug, a boost and a smile. The good news is that without them even having to mention it, you'll use those ultra-sensitive antennae of yours to figure out exactly what they need -- and of course, you'll have it waiting for them.

OK, that isn't as bad as some days... but I think I would rather have this horoscope instead:

Today you are in charge of your life. You decide how you feel, how you act, how you eat, how you laugh. Your every need is met. Money? Coming right at you! Love? Just breathe and it is yours for the receiving! Worries? Who needs 'em? You have everything right here, right now. Today is an amazing day of miracles!

Yup, from now on, I write the story.

A New Day - A New Outlook

2006-02-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

There is nothing like a fun evening with loved ones, some laughter, some healing, some Mexican food to shift things. I am continually amazed at my children and their abilities to teach me, to lift me, and to love me.

It is a beautiful winter morning here in Utah. I didn't get up and go to the gym, but enjoyed the delicious lie-in until 6:45. I have good hair today, and Alchemists is coming up.

Essentially everything is the same as yesterday except for my attitude.

I got this note from The Universe this morning and I found it rather appropriate:

"And there is perhaps no more empowering belief, Lianne, than understanding you're always in control of how you feel.

As well as, I might add, understanding that just because you're not always skipping through tulips with joy doesn't mean that something's wrong with you.

You rock - The Universe."

Indeed, I am in control of how I feel and I am not going to let money, work, personal agendas, or anything disrupt my peace. How could I have forgotten?

Pissy Tuesday

2006-02-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm feeling better. I have way too many blessings to stress about money.

Things that help when I am pissy:

Remembering to eat lunch
Listening to the Faure Requiem
Talking to blog buddies
Having a fresh Diet Coke
Remembering that everything will be ok

Thoughts about turning 50:

Teenagers make me tired. Not that they aren't amazing and wonderful and too fun, but the stress of keeping every duck in a row! Here I am 50, and I have a 13 year old! I have friends who have grandchildren who are 13! However, I am grateful to have them because they keep me young.

Pissy Tuesday

2006-02-07T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am pissy today. I know why. I know exactly why.

Because I have made all kinds of intentions about abundance I will refrain from saying "I hate money" and change that to "I hate a shortage of money." Although I am doing much better not only managing my money but having anxiety about it, I still occassionally run into problems. This is one of those times. Everything will be fine, it just means a week of austerity.

It is making an otherwise gorgeous day with my new Nano (birthday present from Daddy)kinda poopy.

I'll get over it.

Actually, most everything in my life is going well. I am getting up at 5:30 every morning and going to the gym. That counts for at leat 20 Smug Points. I am eating well, in spite of my weekend debauchery. 7 Smug Points. I have a new Nano. 100 Sumg Points. Robbie is still clean and doing well. 10000000 Happy Points.

See... as my step-dad used to say, "It's only money."

And so it is.

Tiaras and Whatnots - Images from the Spa Weekend

2006-02-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

Today's thought on Turning 50

2006-02-05T13:53:00.000-07:00

Skip was chilling with me this morning (yes, I am allowing myself to say "chilling") and he said, "You know, your friends are pretty cool. How old are they?" I informed them that they were in their twenties.

He said, "I think it's pretty cute that you are hanging out with friends that are young enough to be your daughters."

Pretty cute?

Yeah, well one of the things I've learned about being 50 is that I can hang out with whomever I choose, and age has nothing to do with it.

I think that is a pretty cool realization.

And on another note:

I realized that I will stop and use the bathroom anytime I want regardless of how late I am, or where I am supposed to be. I am old enough to know that I need to take care of my needs, because no one else will.

Wherein Glo has a Spa Visit and Cate comes to call....

2006-02-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

It wasn't exactly the spa visit Glo and I had had in mind, but because God is in the Heavens, all things work for our good. I have truly come to realize that Friendternets (word care of Sarcomical) could become such a valued and important part of my life... especially when they magically appear in a real life setting.

Yes, there was much needed therapy for all (and by that I do not mean pedicures or micro-dermabraisions), but rather the gift of hard truth that the love between friends can produce. (Although Cate still flinches when I speak... I really have to work on that.) It was a weekend of laughter, food, movies, silly card games, and shifts... for all involved.

And now they are gone back to their real lives, and I am home contemplating the experience. I am not as wise as I pretend to be, and I am surely not as together in my own life. But sometimes, just sometimes, the Spirit whispers to me the words that need to be said in that moment. I have learned that you don't equivocate, you just say them in the best way you can. So, to my dear friends, if I offended, it was my bad delivery, and I ask your forgiveness. However, I have a feeling that we are all better for the time together, and each of us will see changes come from it.

So, as Husband said, "Your delightful friends are welcome any time!", and I heartily second that opinion. Come again and let's play.

(By the way picture of the Spa Visit will be forthcoming tomorrow)

Le Liste du Jour

2006-02-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Following after my Blog Buddy's example, I give you my List.

Discovery: Moleskine books! These are the coolest little books to stick in your purse and carry around. I have the day planner and I love it!

Confusion: People who don't say what they mean and refuse to understand what you are saying. In a meeting today I finally had to resort to drawing a flow-chart on the whiteboard so the person would stop being so obtuse.

Rant: It bugs me that no one at my house can clean things the way I do it. I work all day and come home to these half-assed attempts at doing chores. I hate that. And believe me, I'm no anal-retentive housekeeper. Just pick up your things and put them away!

Decision: I need to go to the gym regardless of how I feel in the morning. I know I feel better when I go, but dragging this sorry body out of bed at 5:40 is not a pretty sight. Therefore, I will go to the gym religiously next week.

Abandoned Love: Ice cream and butter. Waaaaay too many points.

New Love: Dreyers All Fruit Bars.... yummy and only two points!

My "What Turning 50 Means to Me" entry du jour:
This was a Clairol ad from the year I was born.

I was thinking about my hair today. I'm kinda growing it out and kinda thinking I want to try a curly style a la Meg Ryan in the photo. (Of course that would mean I needed some kind of perm, but I'm willing to try it)

I realize that I can wear my hair any way I want. I've alway associated shorter hair with older women, but not any more. I know I NEVER want to have Relief Society hair. I was thinking about this the other day... my grandmothers never did their own hair. I never want to get to the point where I can't be in charge of my hair.

Where'd you get that?

2006-02-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

Having Robbie around is very entertaining. It is almost as if we have uncovered a wonderful new personality.

I opened a package from Amazon last night with three new videos: Henry V, Sense and Sensibility, and Emma. Robbie looked at them, then at me, and asked, "Where'd you get those? www.gay.com?"

So, fooey on you Mr. "I Don't Read Jane Austen or Shakespeare", I look forward to watching my "gay" shows. In fact, this weekend I fully intend to enjoy several movies and whatnot.

My "What Turning 50 Means to Me" entry du jour:

Went to KMart last night with Rob to pick up some thermal underware. At the checkout, I paid for them. On the way back to the car Rob said, "Man, what must people think that my mom is paying for my stuff. I look like such a loser."

I replied, "Ah, still worshipping the God of What Will People Think?"

Rob said, "Yeah, Mom. I'm almost 20!"

Well, boys and girls, I'm 50, and I don't give a rat's ass what people think. I went to KMart in my slipper, t-shirt sans bra, and didn't even care. Is this a sign of maturity or of senility? In any event, I am who I am and if you don't like it, ce n'est pas mon problème!

Freedom comes with turning 50

2006-01-31T15:11:00.000-07:00

(This article was sent to me by Ellie Bradford)

By Ann Cannon - Deseret Morning News Columnist
January 30, 2006

I'm turning 50 soon (whoa! How did THAT happen!) and a few friends and I (shout out to Margaret, Anne, Susan and Val) have come to the conclusion there are some things that women our age just shouldn't have to do anymore.

Women our age should not have to sit in the back seat of a car. Never. Not under any circumstances. Not even if someone else yells "shotgun!" first. It should be understood by everyone that our "shotgun" trumps everybody else's "shotgun." Women our age are the Alpha "Shotgun" Trumpers.

Also, women our age should not have to listen to Jay-Z or Ludacris or Kanye West on the radio when we are riding shotgun in our own cars.

Women our age should not have to wear pantyhose. Or high heels. Or anything else we don't want to wear, including clothes that bind. Duh. That's why Chico's was invented.

Women our age should not have to go to Lagoon. We also shouldn't have to set a good example or put away chairs at church functions. And while we're at it, we shouldn't have to attend maturation talks. Trust us. Women our age pretty much know everything we never wanted to know about puberty. Women our age should not have to be PTA presidents. Or PTA anythings.

Women our age shouldn't have to be the ones who answer the phone. As my friend Val points out, it's never for us anyway.

Women our age shouldn't have to lift boxes. Duh. That's why teenage sons were invented.

And speaking of teenage sons, women our age shouldn't have to share the bathroom with them. Or their friends. In fact, women our age should just have our own bathrooms. We should feel free to go in those bathrooms and stay in those bathrooms all day long, reading whatever we feel like and not sharing our bath products with the rest of the family.

And speaking of bathrooms, we shouldn't have to stay in motels where the bathroom is down the hall. Put a fork in us because we are SO done with that. OK?

Women our age should not have to eat Top Ramen noodles or Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Even if we go back to college. And speaking of college, we should not have to sleep in dorms at Snow College when we agree to act as chaperones on youth outings. And speaking of chaperones, we really shouldn't have to be those anymore, either.

One last thing. Women our age shouldn't have to get hit with snowballs in the face.

I was thinking about this last thing the other day — probably because I got hit with a snowball in the face. I was just turning around to say something to my youngest son when SPLAT! Snowball in the face!

Apparently my son thought it would be funny to hit me in the backside with a snowball. It's such an AMPLE backside, after all, and who can resist a target like that? Certainly not seventh-graders!

But my son's aim was a little off. Also, I happened to turn around right as he let fly. So there I was. With snow on my (stinging!) face. Experiencing Post-traumatic Snowball Stress Syndrome. Remembering all those times I got hit in the glasses with snowballs when I was in the fourth grade.

Take it from me. Nothing makes you feel stupider than getting hit in the glasses with a snowball when you're in the fourth grade. Except maybe getting your face washed afterward with snow by a sixth-grader. You never saw THAT one coming, did you! Probably because your glasses were already covered with snow!

Anyway, my son was mortified. Also concerned. Also extremely apologetic.

But mostly he was scared. Turns out women our age can be pretty scary when we accidentally get hit in the face with snowballs.

Yes!

Sometimes it feels good to be scary!

It's Birthday Month for Me!

2006-01-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

Since it was highly unlikely that anyone would hijack my blog for my birthday, I thought I would begin my birthday month with a celebratory blog make-over.

In the spirit of an old friend of mine, Shalana Robinson, I have decided to make the entire month of February a party.

So, here's to me turning 50!!!

Ah... Saturday

2006-01-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

Today is great for several reasons:

1. We finally finished our freaking project at work at 6:30 p.m. last night. We are all happier people.

2. Sleeping in.... ah

3. Going to the gym when there are plenty of machines to keep me busy.

4. Cleaning the house the way I want it.

5. Quiet house... kids are otherwise engaged.

6. Knowing I have a new book to start any time I want to sit and read!

7. Repenting of eating waffles for dinner and having a good food day. (Actually, it wasn't all bad...)

8. Finding my missing socks amidst the children's laundry.

9. Being home with my husband.

10. It's Saturday, duh.

Clever Step Offspring

2006-01-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

My oldest daughter is my step-daughter Jen. She is also the mom to my two step-grand-children... which, let's face it, I consider to be my grandchildren in a kind of weird way. Well, Jen and I are great conversationalists over IM, and now I have found that she has followed in my footsteps and started a blog.

(Editor's note: In reality it was Jen who got me started on blogging. She started a blog of pictures of the grandkids and I thought, "hmmmm, I wanna do that!" So officially, she is not following in my footsteps.)

Well, her blog is delightful. I mean the girl is hilarious and deep and wonderful and has two amazing children (and her hubby is amazing too but he doesn't make an appearance on the blog too often). So, for those of you who would enjoy another great read, check out "Tripping over Cobblestone."

And even more miracles!

2006-01-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

You know, I have to just sit back sometimes and wonder how it is that God blesses me so amazingly. I really am trying to be concious of the "little" miracles in my life, but Holy Hannah, how about the big ones!

Skip got his old job back. Miracle?, you ask. Indeed. This is the third time they have hired him back... and all I can say is thank you God for Brian. Even Skip is a bit amazed by the whole experience.

Last night Skip went to an NA meeting in Payson and was very comfortable. I knew the minute we walked into the building that this one felt different. I sat in the hall and read while he attended the meeting. He came out with a smile. "I think I'm going to make this one my 'home' meeting." Yeah, I thought you'd say that....

The night before we all went up to Lynell's (my Alchemist faciliator) and the three kids had Rapid Eye Therapy. For those of you who dont' know what this is, it is an amazing science of such simplicity it blows the mind. I refer you to the Rapid Eye Home page for more information. I always feel like I have my kids back after we go up for a session. They are able to release so much crap... I know this is a huge answer for Skipper.

This is definitely a season where my kids come first before everything else, and I am waaay ok with that. Sometimes I feel like my whole focus is on me or on work, but this just feels better.

Giving it Up

2006-01-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Long talk with Skip last night... Part of my learning in all this is that he is an incredible gift to me and to the family. I have known this for a while, but it has come back to me in a powerful way. A family is such an interconnected living unit. When one person shifts, everyone shifts. When one person hurts, they all hurt.

Another part of the learning for me is that I really have to "let go and let God". I cannot control his recovery, and in fact, I really can't control my own (yes, I am in recovery from my addiction of over eating). Skip will walk his path in his way, and I am to be there and love him and support him, but not orchestrate him. I am putting this on the Altar and asking God to take it, because I do not know what is best for my own son.

I'm doing a lot of breathing, and releasing my anxieties and worries to God.

The only person I am in charge of is me, and that is more than enough of a full-time job.

Skip Comes Home

2006-01-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Well, we had a lovely day yesterday, as Prodigal Son Skip came home! We are so happy to have him once again as part of the Crazy House. He is such a remarkable boy... I absolutely adore him! Mommy can't be happier than when she has all her chicks at home.

He really looks much better than in this picture. All of the punk energy he carried with him is gone, and what we have is a very soft young man.

I am thrilled!

Poodle-Doo

2006-01-21T19:59:00.000-07:00

Alarmingly Poodle wanted in on Girls' day... so I bleached is poodle curls.

He now is appropriately blonde like any good French Poodle should be.

Now, to cap off the Girl's day perfectly we (meaning me) are watching Pride and Prejudice with the one and only Mr. Darcy-Firth.

Poodle was sufficiently disturbed to find out that the "gay show" lasted 6 hours.

Girls' Day in Pictures

2006-01-21T17:38:00.000-07:00

First Kjarsti and I went to CPK for lunch, because you can't have girls' day with going to lunch.

Mostly we went there because I cannot get enough of their Thai Crunch Salad

Then we went to American Eagle because it's coming up on someone's birthday and we wanted to get her something special. Someday I will be able to buy things for me at AE, and I will look so freaking hot (I know this, because that is what Kjarsti said to me.)

Then we went to Gorgeous Pretty Beauty Nail Salon where I had a pedicure and Kjarsti a manicure. (That is such a girly thing to do!)

Then we went to Meier and Frank because they have the best sales (80% off plus another 15%... I mean, isn't that practically FREE!)

Then we went to Sam's Club where we spent altogether too much on things that I don't eat...

Then we wrapped up the Girls' Day with some home facial waxing... good news! I still have most of my eyebrows!!!

A fun day with the coolest girl in town.

The reasons today is a good day....

2006-01-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

#1 - New Moleskine Day Planner

#2 - Found my favorite reading glasses

#3 - Good Diet Coke today

#4 - New Phone

#5 - Cool Cow Mug from France

Winter in Utah can be beautiful!

(The day after the storm)

No kidding... it snowed.

2006-01-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

See, I wasn't kidding about the snow. This was taken as I drove out this morning to work. The final total for our yard was 8". No wonder I couldn't get out or in yesterday. (Do you love our barbeque on the front porch... we are ever so slightly white trash around the edges)

Snow Follies

2006-01-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

With great smugness, I got out of bed at 5:40 this morning to go to the gym. Husband came in and said, "Where ever you are going, allow plenty of time. There is 5" of snow on the ground."

However, I pressed forward and left, without incident, although trudging through the unplowed snow at the gym in my tennies made my workout a little soggy. (Note that I said "workout".. in truth I walked on the treadmill at about .5 mph for 20 minutes and did two weight machines. Nevertheless I was sweating...)

It was on the way home that the adventure truly began. I got stuck trying to pull into my driveway. Then John the Poodle Boy came out and shoveled for me (Brent started the process, but decided a heart attack wasn't on the agenda today). John managed to get the car on to the street, but go stuck pulling it around the block (we live in a weird U-shaped street). So, John decided to park the car on the corner by the main(ish)road.

So, we trudged out to the car about a half a block away, and found that it was stuck again. We had 5 kids out pushing, but it wasn't until Big Burley Neighbor with Large Truck stopped to push, that we were finally able to be on our way.

Usual drive to work: 25 minutes
Today: 70 minutes

What was I saying about Spring the other day????

Never mind... I figured it out

2006-01-18T14:35:00.000-07:00

No panic, people... I'm just fine. Please note the date: January 18th which is FIVE WEEKS from my FIFTIETH birthday. I'm allowed a little psychosis, don't cha think?

And please, gird up your loins, because on February 1st the new Birthday Blog will be revealed....

Running Through Water

2006-01-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in dreams I am trying to run away from something scary and I cannot move as quickly as I wish. It feels like I am running through water.

I have used this analogy several times in the last few days to explain how I am moving through my various obligations at home and at work. It feels like regardless of the time and energy I give to these projects, the completion is still very elusive. I believe this is a huge learning for me around acceptance, Gee, what a surprize!

I am trying to tune into exactly what is bothering me. I am breathing. That is always a good thing. I am eating well. I am sleeping well. I am doing my daily devotional. However, there are things not quite in order.

I haven't begun exercising as I know I want to... and in spite of hating to get up at the crack of dawn, I know I always feel better when I go.

I haven't got my housework under control. Granted, I have two sherpas at home that should be helping, but I feel like my belongings are strewn hither and yon.

I haven't been spending enough time with my husband. He is knee-deep in his work obligations, and I have been distracted by my life. I need to connect with him.

Truthfully, I just want to be at home. I don't want to "have" to do anything. I want to feel settled, grounded, and relaxed. I just have to figure out if there is something I have to do to achieve that, or if I just chill and let this season pass it will come to me.

Hell, I don't know. I pretty much got it that I don't know anything.

Ah... sweet jammies and slippers

2006-01-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

For the first time in what seems like weeks, I am sitting downstairs on my computer. I have partitioned an external hardrive and I am now copying over my 5 gig of music files. I will then parse through my whatnots and send them to the Outer Limits (that is what I named my very cute hard drive).

I also have a new disk burner, but I have run out of electrical plugs downstairs, so that will be my project for tomorrow.

Can I tell you how wonderful it is to be home? I feel like I have been running since I stopped being sick, and boy, do I miss it! I just need to be home! (Yes, two Alchemist weekends in a row can really wear you out).

There are so many things I want to be doing... and there never seems to be enough time. I do not understand people who get bored. That is something that just baffles me. How can you be bored with so many books, movies, projects, computers, and internet sites?

This is my horoscope for today:

"It can be very difficult to keep your defenses up at this time. There may be too much chaos or confusion to allow you to feel certain about where you stand. This can be upsetting, but this is also the opportunity to let go of the rigid structures, fears and boundaries that you no longer need."

Yada, yada... I am so sick of letting go of rigid structures, fears, and boundaries!

Weight Watchers

2006-01-12T11:21:00.000-07:00

I weigh in today for the first time. I have decided to journal about my experiences in another blog, which is referenced here for your information. I have been challenged by a friend to document this experience in the chance that it might someday become a book.

Food has not been an issue this week. This is typical of me on my other "weight loss" programs. I can usually go 8-12 weeks without freaking out. I intend to go as long as it takes this time... but my angst about this will be detailed elsewhere.

On another note: My Alchemist class graduated last weekend. The last weekend was, as you can imagine, extremely emotional. It was great that my family, including darling husband, came to the celebration. I thought he would be a little freaked out, but he wasn't. I have to learn to stop under estimating him.

Poodle Boy starts his Alchemist class tomorrow, and I am staffing. I am the Logistics person, which is ironic, because my whole week has been about logistics and the damn car. Well, ignore that... the car will be mine as of this afternoon thanks to fasting and prayer and a whole lot of intentions and blessings. That will take a great weight off my shoulders.

It is always interesting to me how stress really comes through the little things, like not having a car. However, I have not lost my sense of humor... ever.

About to come up for air..

2006-01-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been a blur of getting well, finishing up my Alchemist class last weekend (which involved some major projects) and starting a new class this weekend. In between all that is the stress of not having a car (however, I believe this is going to be remedied very soon), and some major deadlines at work.

However... after this weekend I believe I am about to come up for air. The major project at work will have been finished and I will be home with a week of almost nothing scheduled. Hallelujah!

I have a new external hard drive to install on the computer, and a new disk burner for the "Disk of the Month Club" (please contact me if you are interesting in participating) and various other things that are stacking up at home.

So... all is well, all is busy, all is perfect.

I bid you all a farewell....

2006-01-04T16:39:00.000-07:00

Good bye my little friends... it will be months and months before I see you again and partake of your delight. The addict is going back to work, and I have to put you all away.

Get over it, guys, I'm not talking about YOU!

I'm talking about all the food I will not be eating for tomorrow I go to WEIGHT WATCHERS and I will proceed to watch my weight and what I eat.

(Before all you dietician types go on and on about "moderation" and "balance", let me remind you that I am an ADDICT and there is no such thing as moderation, at least not at this point in my life.)

I will no longer be eating the following beloved foods:

The Dreams Give it Away

2006-01-02T12:55:00.000-07:00

You know you are still sick when you take a minute and look at your dreams. Last night I was blow drying my hair and it would never get dry.. and when it was finally finished it looked like some 60's bouffant a la J-Lo. Yeah right. I was also freaked out because there were all these people at my house and I didn't have any clean clothes to wear and there were always people in the shower when I wanted to use the bathroom.

I am sick... still. I feel like my brain is very far away and that I have to wade through thigh-high water to do anything. I am in a waking coma... yeah, that's it.

I did manage to make it to work for a few.. just to catch up. Only to find that all the information I need is behind a locked office (which is never locked). Crap.

So.. I'm making lists in order to remember the things I need to do when I come out of my coma.

Blech.

With Whom do you Share Your Birthday?

2005-12-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, I will turn 50 in 2006 on February 22nd. I was looking in Wikipedia and discovered some interesting people share my birthday:

George Washington and I share a birthday, which was cool when I was little, because I used to get the day off from school. But no more.

Robert Young, whom many of you remember from "Father Knows Best".

Marni Nixon - the voice of so many who couldn't sing including Deborah Kerr in "The King and I", Audrey Hepburn in "My Fair Lady", and Natalie Wood in "West Side Story". I actually attended UCLA with her daughter and we sang in Roger Wagner's Choir there. I am thrilled to share birthdays with her!

No comment.

Dr. J, Julius Erving one of the great basketball players.

Kyle MacLachlan - sweet.

I couldn't be happier to share my birthday with Steve Irwin. He obviously got all the "risk" genes that I somehow missed. I love the Crocodile Hunter.

And last, but not least, La Lisp - Drew Barrymore.

The Obsessions

2005-12-31T12:15:00.000-07:00

I remember this now from the last time I was extremely ill (although I am not now extremely ill.. just extremely sick of being ill).

I obsess about my house.

I want to clean out closets, organize files, dust ceiling fans, rearrange furniture. It is a weird thing that I do when I just barely begin to feel better.

So I got out of bed this morning, avoided looking at my sorry self in the mirror because I look like Death Warmed Over, and cleaned the kitchen. (Which none of my sorry-ass children could manage to clean in a responsible way) (can you tell I'm cranky... still**). Then, I came downstairs to the computer area and realized that my sorry-ass children have left my computer area a mess. So I began filling garbage bags, sweeping, etc.

Now I want to take down the ~~damned~~ beloved Christmas tree and get rid of all semblance of "Holiday Decorating".

All this will put me to bed for the rest of the day... but it may be worth it.

** I actually yelled at the kids last night because I was sick of them. Sick of them feeling well enough to tease one another, sick of them feeling well and only caring about themselves. I used the word "shit" in a yelling way. It was quite cathartic. I threatened to take the Ipod and the new cell phone for a week if they didn't shape up.

It was interestingly quiet after that.

Mean mom so rocks!

Le Meme de Quatre

2005-12-31T12:07:00.000-07:00

Four jobs you've had in your life: McDonalds, Registrar for UCLA, Technical Writer, and Piano teacher.

Four movies you could watch over and over again: Moonstruck, Pride and Prejudice (yes, all six hours), Much Ado About Nothing, and Young Frankenstein.

Four places you've lived: Utah, California, the Netherlands, Belgium

Four TV shows you love to watch: CSI, Boston Legal, House, and 24

Four places you've been on vacation: Mexico, Hawaii, North Pacific, Florida

Four web sites you visit daily: CNN, Ebay, My Blog Buddies, my GMail box.

Four of your favorite foods: Sushi, My sister Marge's cooking, Toasted cheese sandwiches, and really fresh California veggies.

Four places you'd rather be: Tuscany, Southern California, Carribbean, Bangkok

Four albums you can't live without: Mozart Requiem, Faure Requiem, Morten Lauridsen, and currently the soundtrack to Pride and Prejudice.

This meme is all Cate's fault

Influenza

2005-12-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

It struck in the middle of the night... chills, sweats, coughing.. hacking, hacking cough.

My IQ has dipped to a new low of 135, and I want to kill, murder, and maime my children.

I feel overwhelmed by everything that isn't done... that has to be done.

I feel overwhelmed that I missed work... and there is so much to be done.

I am also pissed off at the TV and the banality of the shows... but I don't have the attention span to watch a movie or read.

I hate being sick.

Here it is... the Tale of Christmas 2005

2005-12-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

(Note: not all the images are available at this time, but the impatience of my readers has forced me to publish this sans illustrations)

This tale really begins on Wednesday, December 21st. Gandalf the Grey and I were finishing up our shopping and on the way home I spotted a beautiful new car. "Honey, why don't you get me a new Lexus for Christmas." The ridiculousness of that comment sent us both into peals of laughter.

On Thursday, the day before our Christmas holiday, we were laughing and working away at The New Job when I was called in by the Head Honchos. If you remember, The New Job was only temporary; I was originally hired on a two month contract. Well, the Head Honchos offered me a permanent position with the company, details to be worked out soon, and a very, very generous Christmas bonus. Bonus, dude! So I was happy, happy.. but also not feeling great, so I left a little early to go home and have a bit of a rest. I was very concious of the fact that if I got sick, Christmas wouldn't really happen... at least the food portion.

So I snuggled in for a long winter's nap when much to my suprize DQ comes running in at around 5:30. "Mom, Poodle's been in an accident!" I jump out of bed, half dazed, heart pounding. I ask her to slow down and explain. "Mom, Br. A--- is at the door, he found the car upside down!" We determine where the accident occurred and that no one was hurt, and I rush out the door with DQ.

About a mile from our home Poodle had been speeding on the River Bottom's Road, had hit some gravel, started to slide, over corrected and rolled the car. Miraculously, no one in the car was injured. Poodle had had the forethought (inspiration) to have everyone put their seatbelts on just moments before the accident occured. Bottom line, the car is totalled, the children are not.

Meanwhile, I'm freaking out because I have no car, my son was nearly killed, and well, frankly I'm pissed at him because this is his 4th incident since obtaining his license in early September. OK, pissed doesn't even begin to explain it.

If you remember back a few months I mentioned that one of the wonderful people I worked with was selling his Lexus. I prayed that he still had it, and when I finally reached him on Friday, he was thrilled to hear from me, and in fact would love to sell me the car and at a reduced price! Holy Hannah!!! In fact, he added, would I like to come pick it up tonight because he was going out of town for the holidays and wouldn't need it. I could put the financing together while he was gone.

So, here it is the day before Christmas, and I have a new (cough, cough, it's a '97) Lexus!

I really need to be careful what I speak out loud.

But on another more serious note - the firemen and paramedics at the scene were amazed that no one was hurt. They said they had seen accidents less than this with dead bodies. I have to say, with Poodle you have to pray for big Nephite Angels to attend him... and boy, are they Johnny on the Spot!

And incidentally, Poodle won't be driving again until he gets his own car and own insurance!

Christmas Check in

2005-12-27T14:15:00.000-07:00

On November 11th I posted my illustrated Christmas list. Let's see how we did.

Well, Daddy blew this request out of the water! Instead we received a Nikon Coolpix 7900. Well done, Daddy!

Irony of ironies! My son actually got one, but I know I'll get on one day!

This may come during the January sales.

Marge nailed this one right on the head!

My neighbors got one, so it's almost like having a Doodle,
but without the pee stains on my carpet!

More to come...

2005-12-27T10:51:00.000-07:00

This has been an eventful past 5 days, and I am trying to document much of it through images I haven't taken yet. So please bear with me... I promise drama, and lots of it.

We had a great Christmas, although it was quiet. Brent came down with a nasty flu, but he is starting to feel a titch better today. The children were royally spoiled, but it was the first time in many years that they were. I was also royally spoiled, including a new Nikon digital camera from my dad (hence the need to take images) and a wonderful Le Creuset dutch oven from Marge.

But there is a whole tale to tell... so be patient my little readers, be patient.

Pseudo Names - Bizarre Blog Names

2005-12-21T12:53:00.000-07:00

I have noted that in other blogs, the bloggers refer to family members by bizarre blog names. For example, in one blog, the bloggette refers to her children as "Noodle" and "Spud". In another they are BloggerName Jr.

I have heretofore referred to my family members by their given names, but I believe in the spirit of anonymity (howeverthehellyouspellthat)I will begin to use Pseudo Names (sic),

Husband Dearest shall hereafter be referred to as: Gandalf (the Grey)

Older daughter - Sis-Mish

Older son - Skip (there is a funny story about this name. Skip also had two friends who used the name Skip, so one day they were driving in a small Utah town when the police pulled them over. What's your name son? Skip. What are your friends' name? Skip. The police was convinced there was some cult that involved the name Skip moving into their town)

Younger Son - Poodle

Younger Daughter - DQ (That ain't Dairy Queen...)

Of course anyone with any blog savvy can go back and see their real names, but for now I found it somewhat entertaining to have Bizzare Blog Names (BBN).

As you all know my BBN is Mable... and only because my sister's BBN is Marge, after Marge Schott.

Things You Hope You Get For Christmas

2005-12-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Inflatable Sumo Suit

Cow Stickers for your Refrigerator

Scroll Bar Scarves

Big Hair Calendar

Note: Marge sent this to me this morning and this is what started this whole thing.

Bowels of Holly T-Shirt

Snot-Nosed Egg Separator

Talking Napoleon Dynamite Key Chain

Thoughts from my Dad

2005-12-20T15:26:00.000-07:00

(My Dad often sends me email forwards of the extremely liberal in nature... this one was fun so I had to pass it on)

Top Ten Thoughts to Ponder for the New Year:

Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach them to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in Hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2005:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

It must be the week before Christmas...

2005-12-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

It must be the week before Christmas because

1. It just cost me $600 to repair my brakes (roters.. ouch)
2. I have no food in the house except things to make cookies.
3. The only thing on TV are Christmas movies with Melissa Gilbert and former fashion models.
4. The driver side window in my car won't roll up.
5. The children are begging to open "Just one present before Christmas". I remind then that they aren't four anymore.
6. "White Christmas" was on TV.. and I watched it, as I do every year.. and wondered why I like it so much.
7. Stomach flu... need I say more?
8. I look at boxes with longing and imagine which of my bulky items to be wrapped would fit.
9. I tell the children where the gifts are hidden and say, "Wrap them yourselves.. you know what they are anyway."
10. What? English Toffee isn't a breakfast food?

Turba Time

2005-12-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

John is oft found expressing, "Sheesh, Mom, TURBO!!!" when I am doing anything rapidly. This because a little things we'd say, "Turba, Turba Time!"

Well.. I just did Christmas shopping turba time. It looked a lot like whooshing in and out of stores, dodging the shoppers, avoiding the people in wheelchairs (except for the one I tripped over in Gap), rapidly grabbing whatever looked remotely like what I wanted and then checking out by wiggling in and out of lines.

Am I done?

No... I have yet to visit the dreaded Walmart. Then Santa's Workshop will take over the basement and I'll be done. Finished. Complete. Pau.

Whew.

Oh, wait. I forgot about grocery shopping for Christmas. I have to make lists. I have to call Marge. I have to plan, plan, plan.

Do other women out there feel like Christmas is a one-(wo)man show? The heathens' job is to unwrap and eat... mine is everything else.

And did I mention that I invited the-man-formerly-known-as-my-husband-father-of-children over for Christmas Day? Don't ask.

Ssssshhhh.... don't say anything

2005-12-15T20:43:00.000-07:00

My children are amazing.

They absolutely blow me out of the water.

One minute they are screwing up right and left... the next they are having these amazing realizations about themselves and life.

I guess they are just walking the path.

I adore them all!!!

Freaking out John... x2

2005-12-15T18:50:00.000-07:00

Event 1: Faulty Logic

About 4:00 this afternoon my phone at work rings.

"Mom, did you buy me an Ipod for Christmas?"

"No, John, I didn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Well," he continues in a conspiratorial voice, "there is a box under the Christmas tree and I think there is an Ipod in it."

"What makes you think there is an Ipod in there?"

"Well.. this is what tipped me off. It is addressed to you and Brent, but get this... it's from Melinda Gates. I know that is Bill Gates' daughter, and Bill Gates started Apple, and Apple makes Ipods."

I am laughing histerically at this point.

"Faulty logic, John."

"What do you mean?"

"Well.. I don't know what Bill Gates' daughter's name is, but I do know that he founded Microsoft and not Apple."
Silence

"Well... I still think there is an ipod in there."

Event 2: Because I can't get enough of John

I am driving home from work and I am making a cassette tape for Julia. I get this brillant idea that I want a hamburger from Carl's Jr., and I know John is working the drive-up.

So, I say to the tape, "I am going to order in one of my funny accents, and we'll see if John knows who it is."

So, I say in my best bad French accent, "Allo, I would like to order ze hamburgers... shree of shem."

John, in his best bad Carl's Junior Drive up voice says, "Would you like anything else?"

I say, "Alors! You have put ze wrong hamburger on ze screen! I would like ze champinon, I mean ze mushroom burger and ze western burger."

There is a pause. Then over the crackly speaker I hear a tentative voice... "Mom?"

"Pardon?"

then even softer than the first time... "Mom?"

"Allo, you have to speak up because I cannot hear you."

There is silence as the speaker cuts out. I am laughing histerically at this poin (cassette still running) and then John comes back on.

"Is there anything else?" He hears me laughing.

"Mom!!! You totally freaked me out!!!!"

Yeah, that was kinda the point.

What are teenagers but to freak them out?

On Illustrator, diacritical marks, and the Temple...

2005-12-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

It was one of those delicious days where I had my head down and buried in a way fun project. The only problemo is that I was working in Illustrator 9 and I needed to put in Les Spanish Words with Les Spanish diacritical marks. After spending about an hour looking hither and yon, I decided it was a lost cause until they upgrade me to CS, so I made my own dang accent mark.

Letting me loose in Illustrato is akin to giving a 14-year old the controls to a Lear Jet. I know just enough to be dangerous. But the beauty of the situation is that no one where I work knows that. I am the reigning Resident Genius. What they don't know is that the Resident Genius is just a kid having fun in the candy store of Adobe software.

Then Lucy and I went to the temple in the early evening hours when it was quiet... and I just thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience. The quiet... the stillness... the peace. We even had dinner (questionable quality.. but blessed) in the temple. Then back home to find all well.

It was a good day.

My Favorite New Picture of Julia

2005-12-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

This came with Julia's mail today... it is so her. She is sitting on the sidewalk in Nimes (yuck) next to a chalk drawing. Oh, and she is carrying the messenger bag I sent her for Christmas!!!

I miss my girl!

Christmas Frenzy

2005-12-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my unconcious mind ponders a Dutch word that I can't quite remember... I think the word has something to do with "frenzy" but then that doesn't quite work either. Fortunately, when it does come to my concious mind, I quickly forget it.

Interestingly enough, my concious mind also forgot Christmas. This isn't to say that most of my shopping isn't done... it is. The appropriate orders have been placed online and sent to relatives in the west... and in France (in fact, Julia received her box 2 days after I sent it!)

But two rather difficult people remain: Brent and John. I had plans for both of them, but they didn't materialize quite the way I imagined.

The other problem has to do with my issue that Christmas is a week from Sunday. How did this happen?

So, I have prepared a detailed calendar on how I am going to be ready for Christmas. Feel free to click to enlarge.

The Website that Eats Blogs

2005-12-10T21:25:00.000-07:00

I am also suffering from a similar blog fate a G. Lo. Blogger doesn't like my blog images, which is weird considering they host the damn things!

So... here you go. Boring, more boring, but maybe it won't be consumed.

I have much more to write, but I am exhausted having completed Month 8 of my 9 month Alchemist course. An excellent month on self-care and conflict resolution. I can't believe that in only 4 weeks my association with these amazing people will come to a (formal) end. They are indeed "family by choice" and for the rest of my life should I see one of these people I would fall on their necks and weep for joy.

But in January a new session of Alchemists will begin. I am staffing, and John is taking the class. It will be a whole new group of people, a whole new set of lessons. I am excited to begin anew.

The cycle of life...

2005-12-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

I just heard that my good friend Susan passed away last night. She was my neighbor, my friend, my Relief Society President, my book buddy, my amazing example.

A little over a year ago she was diagnosed with colon cancer (yes, Susan, I promise I will get a colonoscopy next year!), stage 4 colon cancer. They figure it had been growing in her for over 20 years.

She and her husband had moved into our neighborhood to downsize and to prepare to serve missions. He was the best Gospel Doctrine teacher I've had, and she was an amazing RS Pres who united the sisters in the ward.

When they got the news of her cancer, they were both shell-shocked... in fact, it wasn't until about three months ago they finally came to terms with this. They made the decision for her to come home, to let nature and God take their course.

The week I left the former job my other neighbor and I with the assistance of all the sisters in the Ward made her a quilt. We were told then that "it could be any day now." Well, she fooled us all and lasted another 5 weeks.

Two weeks ago her oldest daughter and grandson were killed in a freak accident as they drove up to see Susan. Susan knew she would be seeing them soon on the other side.

I went to visit her a few days after the accident. She and her husband were in good spirits... the legacy of having a personal knowledge of God's Plan. We visited, we wept, we laughed... a pretty typical get together for us. She talked about death, her only worry was leaving behind her husband of 35 years. I went back about three more times to see her, but she was not doing well.

I think of her husband and children... I know too well the unfathomable pain of losing a mother, the hole that is never filled again. I cannot, however, imagine how Steve will cope without Susan, and without his daughter and grandson.

However, the Lord knows what is best... what is most instructional. He loves us and knows us personally, and He called her home, and will sustain Steve.

So, Susan, my dear friend, bon voyage! Say hi to my mom, I'm sure you'll run into her. Watch over us as we try to make it through. God be with you 'til we meet again.

A new day... new adventures

2005-12-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

Here we go... Thursday in my life.

1. Had long talk with Husbando and have resolved many things.
2. Had sympathy on children, allowed them to sleep in.
3. Froze on the way to work, temperature 10 degrees.
4. Robbie back in jail for contempt, maybe he will get it this time.
5. Depressed about Christmas, Husbando promising an adventure.
6. Thinking about Christmas adventure, got cold shivers out of fear, not excitement.
7. Excited about class tomorrow, missing my friends.
8. Taking Kjasrti to friend for counseling tonight, hope for the best.
9. Wanting to listen to Ceremony of Carols, don't have CD
10. Reading exciting new novel by breakout author, loving it.

Weather

2005-12-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

OK, this is a visual representation of why I would rather be on a mission in Southern France. I would also like to add that I work right by the mouth of a canyon, and so the wind is blowing at about 15 mph.

Can you say "butt freezing cold?" and not likely to change. Did you see the low tomorrow? (For those of my relatives who live in more tropical climes, please refrain from the nanny nanny boo boo that you are so desperate to bestow.)

Crushed...

2005-12-06T20:49:00.000-07:00

I had no idea that I already existed... and such a strange venue.

http://pakcola.blogspot.com

Bummer.

Snow, Cold, and Crabby Husbands

2005-12-06T20:13:00.000-07:00

I know it is probably very bad form to have the above title, so I will address the snow and the cold first.

Winter decided to come to Utah today. My office overlooks the mouth of Provo Canyon, and by 9:30 this morning the snow was coming down so hard, I couldn't see the mountains from my window (I am less than 1/2 mile from the mountains). By the time I finally left today at 3:00, there was 6 inches of snow on my car, and I had no scraper. I found a wax bag (care of Krispy Kreme) and wadded it up and used it to scrape the snow off my windows. I had no gloves, so I was frostbitten, or nearly so.

They say the high tomorrow is going to be 25 degrees. Oh goodie. Nothing like driving on frozen and icy snow in the cold.

I love winter.

Not.

The CH part can be left alone, I just had to write it. It was either that or scream it, so I figured this was the less offensive. Maybe.

My house is so cold. Per CH we leave the temperature at 64, and the living room is easily in the 50's. I was out there reading tonight and I could see my breath. By heaven forbid we should turn up the heat a little... it might cost us money. Meanwhile my frostbitten hands are getting a second dose of cold.

All that is well and good, but I will feel better tomorrow. I know how those things work... life, sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn't, and it's all good.

A Monday Monday

2005-12-05T19:38:00.000-07:00

The tree is up and the house is decorated. The tree is only about 4 feet tall, but what the heck. It was a breeze to decorate.

And why did I have the time to do my Christmas decorating on a Monday, you ask?

We had Kjarsti school trauma today. For reason which I will not disclose on this blog, I received a call from the principal. Kjarsti has been suspended, and will likely be expelled (which would mean she would not be able to attend ANY school in the school district).

I finished my print deadline, and scurried down to the school to counter the waaaaay tooo concerned yet relieved counselor (they don't like "trouble" kid at that school) by saying, "Well, I was going to take her out of this school this morning any way." They feigned shock and distress when in reality they were breathing a sigh of relief.

So, back to the Jr. High Mistress Mayhem goes.

However, with that trauma behind me, I must say the clean decorated house has put me more in a festive mood.

Now if I can just remember where to get coal to put in her stocking...

Oh, here is the picture of the car with snow as promised. Nothing to traumatic... in fact, looking at it now it doesn't look like much.

And Robbie said I didn't have any pictures of him on the blog, so here is his self-portrait. Do you love the red beard? He gets that from my grandfather.

Reluctantly I will admit I loved it

2005-12-03T16:54:00.000-07:00

As you know, I am a Jane Austen fan, and as far as Pride and Prejudice is concerned, it is not only my favorite Austen novel, but my favorite novel of all time.

I am also an absolutely die-hard fan of the A&E version with the one and only true Darcy, Colin Firth.

However, I have to admit, reluctantly, that I thoroughly enjoyed, even loved, the new version of the movie.

First of all the fact that they were able to effectively reduce the story to two hours is remarkable. Yes, the Wickam story line wasn't as strong as it should have been, but we got the gist of it. We also didn't get to enjoy enough of the annoying Colins or Mrs. Bennett, but again, the flavor was there.

Although neither Keira Knightly or Matthew MacFayden would have been my personal choice in casting, I have to admit they were believable. Darcy wasn't as dashing as Mr. Firth, nor was Keira's rather michievious portrayal of Elizabeth my favorite, but it worked. All in all, the film worked. (And might I add, Bravo Keira for not succumbing to the Hollywood infatuation with fake bosoms. Your flat-chested-ness made you quite believable.)

And I must make a comment about my sweet Husband. One of the things I love most about him is that he shares my infatuation with Austen, and will willingly accompany me to see these "chick flics".

On another note: accomplished additional Christmas shopping today. I have almost everything I need to ship to Julia, and did pick up some odds and ends for the other kidlets. Christmas won't be cheap, but it will be simple.

I'm really doing my best...

2005-12-02T15:00:00.000-07:00

I seem to take longer every year to warm up to Christmas. I am listening to good Christmas music. I've done some shopping. I am in a cheery mood. I'm just not in a cheery Christmas mood.

Not even Oprah on Dave helped. (Can you say "dress stays"? That woman looked more sucked in than a fat lady in a bad girdle.)

Not even the ads for electric razors are helping.

Not even the fact that I have two boxes from Amazon at my house awaiting the 25th.

I'm not exactly Scrooge... but something needs to shift.

Please don't tell me it's going to require putting up a tree.... I am so not in the mood for that!

Finding Fonts

2005-11-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

I was on a quest today for free fonts. It's something I do every now and then. I was chuckling at the names of some of these fonts:

Little Lord Font LeRoy
Experiencing a Catheter
Dumbledore's Revenge

You can't imagine how many Star Trek and Star Wars names. I guess Font designers are all geeks of an artistic nature.

I think I will design a font someday and call it "Mixed Vegetables" or "Poopy Diaper". Then no one will think I am a geek... they will just think I am a housewife with too much time on her hands.

Social Niceties

2005-11-29T14:46:00.000-07:00

I went to lunch with my new bosses today. These are men who are easy to be around, have little pretense of machismo, and are just great people.

We ran into my former boss, who was also a former colleague of my current bosses.

I smiled, I gave hugs, I did the general kiss-kiss, nice-nice. In reality I felt absolutely no animosity towards him, as he truly did me a huge favor.

But I also realized, again, that the four years I worked at the other place never once was I invited to lunch with my bosses. I was an "underling" and perhaps even more scorned, a "woman".

I just love being around normal people... it makes my life so much easier.

A Word about John

2005-11-26T19:37:00.000-07:00

John, my beloved 16-year old son, is bugging the crap out of me.

He is theoretically grounded, but as I am the Wussy Mom, I did let him go out to see his friend on his birthday. That one exception somehow translated to "Oh, I guess I'm not grounded any more." So last night after work, he decided to play. Who knows what time he got home, but I do know that it was before it snowed.

How do I know this?

Because he left the sunroof open and the car outside of the garage. I promise a photo, because inspite of being so mad I could have beaten him senseless (oh wait... he is already senseless) I did see the humor in it and insited that Brent take a picture of my car filled with snow.

Brent, in his ultimatumish way declared that "JOHN WILL NEVER DRIVE AGAIN". I merely realized that tomorrow he is finally being ordained a Priest, and You Know Who is chewing on him pretty bad. Is it any wonder that this Wunder Kind is acting like some changeling?

I hope that after the broo-ha-ha of ordaining him is done that the original John will return, and the house will be peaceful again.

The Illustrated Christmas List WORKS!!

2005-11-25T17:33:00.000-07:00

On a previous post I illustrated all the thing I wanted for Christmas. So far, I believe I am receiving two them for sure, and possibly another one. I really had little hopes that it would bring any of the things to fruition. However, I was wrong.

IT WORKS!!! IT WORKS!!!

Not that I am materialistic about Christmas, it's just that for the first time I actually have some things that I want. What I have found is that as an adult, other familty members appreciate being told exactly what you want. I mean, why should they have to guess?

Anyway, if you haven't done this I suggest you try it.

The bloat has begun

2005-11-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

Every year I find it ironic that a meal that takes 6 hours to prepare and cook is consumed in 25 minutes and the feasters are immediatly in some kind of food coma.

This year the pie wasn't even touched for three hours, so I congratulate myself on a job well done.

Then... we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Has anyone ever wondered if Roald Dahl was an acid freak? That is one weird-ass movie.. and book. Ah, now I get it... he was Norwegian born in Wales. Naturally life would appear a bit freaky. The thing that frightened me most about that movie was how much Johnny Depp's portrayal of Willie Wonka reminded me of Michael Jackson. Coincedence? I think not! (In searching for these images, in the Google Image search for Michael Jackson, I found the image of Willie Wonka. Obviously my feelings were expereinced by others)

I also neglected to mention that the boys and I went to see Harry the other night. I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!! I know, I know.. it isn't "exactly" like the book, but I thought it was marvelous. I loved the humor, the effects, I loved the whole thing. And who knew Cedric was so HOT! (Whoa.. I'm almost 50 here.. I think that is a tad weird that I react that way.. but oh well)

This is one I want to see again and again.

How many people are eating this 22 pound turkey?

2005-11-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

OK, so Brent and I went a little overboard on the food. 22 pound turkey, 6 pies... we don't have to leave the house for weeks with all the food we have. I guess that is one of the things I love most about Thanksgiving... it is about food.

The bird is roasting away and per usual is cooking faster than I had anticipated. It went in the oven at 7:45 thinking it would take 7 hours to cook, but it is at 169 degrees right now, so we are ahead of schedule.

Brent is still watching the cooking shows and giving me last minute ideas for preparing the meal. For the most part I am ignoring him (oooh, he's smoking the turkey! Look, they are deep frying it! How about the one with the chicken inside of the duck inside of the turkey! ((sounds like bird flu to me)) However, I am going to do Alton's smashed pots with garlic.

Well, better check on the bird... I have a feeling things are going to go into high gear in just a moment.

Thanksgiving Nightmares

2005-11-22T13:13:00.000-07:00

I had a Thanksgiving nightmare last night. It actually made me laugh out loud this morning, but at the time, it was tragic.

I dreamed I was making Thanksgiving dinner with my sister Marge, and my friend Madeline. My mom was there too, so we must have been at the old house.

For some reason Mom had shrimp out on the counter, maybe for an h'ors deurve or something, and much to my horror, Madeline began cutting up the shrimp and putting it in the dressing. I panicked!

"You can't put shrimp in the dressing! Marge will freak!"

"No, it's ok. I'm only putting a little bit, and she'll never know." Madeline insisted.

I knew better. Marge has a nose like a bloodhound.(Our bloodhound Keiji wasn't in the dream, however).

Madeline continued, "Besides, the turkey is all finished!" (Because people say weird things like that in dreams)

I turned to see the turkey sitting on the platter on the counter. But to my horror and confusion, it was only skin! The skin was in the perfect shape of a turkey, but there were no bones, no meat, nothing!

I was sure the meal was ruined, and that Marge would be pissed.

Fortunately, Marge is having Thanksgiving with Madeline... so ha, ha on them both! Maybe there will be shrimp and weird boneless and meatless turkey skin.

A Party without Julia

2005-11-21T18:14:00.000-07:00

Several of Julia's friends came over the other night, because they like me almost as much as they like her. So we took some pictures of the festivities.

This is actually how Kjarsti wanted to wear her hair for Halloween.

John H. right after meeting with the High Council.

Here are Andrea and Kate. Andrea is moving to Oregon to live with Kate. I hope this isn't an omen about Julia's eventual landing.

This is Kate doing her Stewart's Mom impression.

Here are the girls on the couch posing.

Here we all are with pictures of Julia. Rather morbid, don't you think?

Cool Sites

2005-11-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

I have found some great sites on various topics in my wanderings online.

Here's one for my LDS friends: LDS Voices. This is a "blog" with new LDS talks and transcripts uploaded every day.

Two new favorite LDS blogs (in that they are written by LDS people, and this does not exclude those who are already linked on the left here)
Mormon Family Man and Everyday I write the Book.

This is a site my sister Marge turned me on to: 43 Folders. Lest you think I've gone all bonky, this is a site about personal organization. Am I organized? Heck no! But I can stand back and appreciate those who are. I particularly enjoy the links about the Hipster PDA. (The Hipster PDA (Parietal Disgorgement Aid) is a fully extensible system for coordinating incoming and outgoing data for any aspect of your life and work. It scales brilliantly, degrades gracefully, supports optional categories and "beaming," and is configurable to an unlimited number of options. Best of all, the Hipster PDA fits into your hip pocket and costs practically nothing to purchase and maintain.)

Do you want to know something? Even a weird something? Try this link: Ask.Metafilter. They are just quirky enough to know what you need to know. Here is an example of some of the questions people ask:

I might get dreadlocks over Thanksgiving break. Who has experience caring for dreadlocks or interesting dreadlock stories, especially regarding any social stigma?

Has anyone ever heard of a urinal in a residential home? For a guy, these things are really convenient in business offices... so why is there a stigma about them being in a home? They conserve water, and there's no lid to fuss with. And women would certainly approve of having a much tidier, less-used toilet.

I am making hot dog review website and trying to find some plain hot dog public clip art to use in my design? I have searched in vain and found only lo quality stuff. Thanks ladies and gentlemen.